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I love solitude. I throw my voice down deep, try in vain to be sultry, and intone Greta Garbo's famously misquoted line from Grand Hotel, "I vant to be alone." I cherish the times I can read uninterrupted or think undisturbed.
I also love working as a team member. I'm very sociable, so when I function in a group, I get distracted by the personalities and want to chat or pick another person's brain. I manage, however, to resist the temptation to veer off task.
Teamwork is often -- especially in education -- not only appropriate, desirable, and fun, but also quite necessary. Sometimes, even when teamwork would slow down a process, collaborative work is optimal for fairness (everyone with a vested interest gets to have input), or for participants to have valuable hands-on teamwork learning experience.
And then there have been times I thought a committee was merely gratuitous and I could have accomplished the urgent task better and faster myself. A co-team member once suggested a camel was the result of a committee trying to create a horse.
My current work is solitary, and the people with whom I work get it. Maybe that's because where there's concern for the bottom line -- an acknowledgment the quality and quantity of the work produced will affect the economic well-being of the organization -- there's no time for the luxury of conference. It was similar when I was in law, as it is in any for-profit business: committees and teams were formed only when necessary to get the work done -- forget any side interests of a democratic process, never mind the altruistic urge to educate the neophytes. They'll get their learning through trial and error -- maybe.
I send off my freshly patted newsburgers to smart, funny, clever, helpful editors. They publish a story as is, make whatever changes they deem necessary or bounce it back to me with a question or for fixing. No inflated egos or private agendas. Work alone, pull together when necessary and publish a high-quality product as quickly as possible.
The joys of solitary work aside, I miss the collegiality of fellow teachers -- the good ones who have mastery of their content areas, understand pedagogy and genuinely love students. By working together in teams, sharing ideas, and conversing informally, I gained immeasurably from colleagues who take teaching and the disciplines they teach -- but not themselves -- seriously. I hope I gave back as good as I got.
I may never again as a colleague have the chance to sit at the feet of such teachers.
When I permit myself to dwell on that personal tragedy, blissful solitude dissolves into depressing loneliness.
The teaching profession will survive in my absence. If I were present, though, some kids out there would have just one more of the kind of teacher they can seek for help in their studies, for advice or solace, or for a friendly ear.
I had a mission in teaching (I won't repeat it here; if interested, see Recession Diary: The Big E, May 18). There are other teachers out there who understand it's important their young charges study the humanities to learn how to regard and relate to others -- all so that we might hasten the day when the lamb may safely lie down with the lion.
I desperately hope there are enough of those teachers.
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